90 Funny Quotes About Education and Success

The truth is, we can’t always be at our best every day, there are days when we just want to remain in our pajamas, and just watch the trending Netflix all day or even read comics. But, deep within, we know we need to learn or pursue our careers.

In fact, most times we decide to do easy things like play video games, engage in long gossip and remain on social media, we tend to have a little self-hatred.

So it’s essential to use these funny quotes about education and success to try and do what you planned. What makes these quotes unique is that they are not too serious, they bring in humor but still bring in the motivation you need. 

So, I provided two different kinds of quotes to you here; Funny Quotes About Education and Funny Quotes About Success.

Without much ado, let’s get started

funny quotes about education and success
funny quotes about education and success

Funny Quotes About Education

1. “The most important thing we learn at school is the fact that the most important things can’t be learned at school.” — Haruki Murakami

This is one of the funny quotes about education and success that I love so much which Haruki Murakami, a Japanese writer said in one of his books in 1982.

2. “The difference between try and triumph is a little umph.” — Marvin Phillips

3. “Dreams come a size too big so that we can grow into them.” — Josie Bisset

4. “Education can get you the only thing that really matters in today’s world—an assigned parking space.” — Gene Perret

5. “Those who don’t know history are doomed to repeat it.” — Edmund Burke

6. “School is the easiest job you’ll ever have.” Marty Klazmer

7. “We all learn by experience but some of us have to go to summer school.” — Peter De Vries

8. “In school, they told me Practice makes perfect. And then they told me Nobody’s perfect, so then I stopped practicing.” — Steven Wright.

9. “My school was so tough the school newspaper had an obituary column.” — Norm Crosby.

10. “Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing worth knowing can be taught.” — Oscar Wilde.

11. “I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.” — Lily Tomlin

12. “First day of school! Wake up! Come on. First day of school.” — Nemo from Finding Nemo

13. You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.” — Bill Watterson

14. “Education is the key to unlocking the world, a passport to freedom.” — Oprah Winfrey 

15. “Education is simply the soul of a society as it passes from one generation to another.” — G.K. Chesterton

16. “What makes a child gifted and talented may not always be good grades in school, but a different way of looking at the world and learning.” — Chuck Grassley

17. “Now when you get there, act like somebody.” — Anonymous 

18. “Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.” — John Dryden

19. “Strange as it seems, no amount of learning can cure stupidity, and higher education positively fortifies it.” — Stephen Vizinczey

20. “When I was growing up, my parents told me, ‘Finish your dinner. People in China and India are starving.’ I tell my daughters, ‘Finish your homework. People in India and China are starving for your job.” — Thomas Friedman

21. “My dad could always find the bright side. Whenever I brought my report card home from school, he’d say, “Well, at least I know you didn’t cheat.” — Greg Tamblyn

22. “When I look back on all the crap I learned in high school, it’s a wonder I can think at all.” — Paul Simon

23. “My kid drives me nuts. For three years now he goes to a private school. He won’t tell me where it is.” — Rodney Dangerfield

24. “By choosing to be a teacher, you have entered an emotionally dangerous profession.” — Unknown

25. “America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.” — Evan Esar

26. “The 5 most common words heard by a school principal: ‘Have you got a minute?” — John Blaydes

27. “School means work and work means death. Let’s all go take a nap.” — Emma Shannon

28. “A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad.” — Theodore Roosevelt

29. “Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.” — Fran Lebowitz.

30. “Some students drink at the fountain of knowledge.” — E.C. McKenzie.

31. “…if you want to know what society’s going to be like in 20 years, ask a kindergarten teacher.” — Clifford Stoll

32. “A book never written: ‘The Best Subject in School’ by Jim Class.”

33. “As long as teachers give tests, there will always be prayer in schools.” — Anonymous

34.  “In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window.” — Rodney Dangerfield.

35. “There are three good reasons to be a teacher – June, July, and August.”

Funny Quotes About Success

36. “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” — Albert Einstein

37. “We learn 10% of what we read, 20% of what we hear, 30% of what we see, 50% of what we see and hear, 70% of what we discuss, 80% of what we experience, 95% of what we teach others.” — William Glasser

38. “The only difference between success and failure is the ability to take action.” — Alexander Graham Bell

39. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” — Lily Tomlin

40. “If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.” — Yogi Berra

41. “Luck is what you have left over after you give 100 percent.” – Langston Coleman

42. “The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost.

43. “Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.” — Billie Burke

44. “If a little is great, and a lot is better, then way too much is just about right!” — Mae West

45. “A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.” — Emo Philips

46. “As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.” — Buddy Hackett

47. “Don’t find fault, find a remedy.” — Henry Ford

48. “Why do they call it “rush hour” when nothing moves?” —  Robin Williams

49. “Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.” — Mel Brooks

50. “As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.” — Norman Wisdom

51. The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.” — Maureen Dowd

52.  “If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” — Betty Reese

53. “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” — A.A. Milne

54. “If you’re going to be thinking, you may as well think big.” — Donald Trump

55. “Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.” — Mark Twain

56. “Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.” — Albert Einstein

57. “Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.” — Kyle Chandler

58. “We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” — George Bernard Shaw

59. “I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.” — Benjamin Franklin

60. “I have a simple philosophy: Fill what is empty. Empty what is full. Scratch where it itches.” — Alice Roosevelt Longworth

61. “A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it is not open.” — Frank Zappa

62. “The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” — Will Rogers

63. “The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.”— Bill Watterson

64. “Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.”– Bill Vaughan

65. “The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.” — Vince Lombardi

66. “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” — Oscar Wilde

67. “Life is too short to miss out on the beautiful things like a double cheeseburger.” — Channing Tatum

68. “A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished.” — Zsa Zsa Gabor

69. “The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.” — Tom Clancy

70. “The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.” — Joe Girard

71. “You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?” — Steven Wright

72. “I’ll probably never fully become what I wanted to be when I grew up, but that’s probably because I wanted to be a ninja princess.” — Cassandra Duffy

73. “Think like a proton. Always positive.” — Anonymous

74.  “Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want to be done because he wants to do it.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower

75.  “Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.” — Marilyn Monroe

76. “When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.” Anonymous

77. “A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction.” — Justin Sewell

78. “The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.” — Anonymous

79. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.” — Zig Ziglar

80. “Change is not a four letter word… but often your reaction to it is!” — Jeffrey Gitomer

81. “Be happy – it drives people crazy.” — Unknown

82. “If you let your head get too big, it’ll break your neck.” — Elvis Presley

83. “I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.” — Ron White

84.  “Trying is the first step toward failure.” — Homer Simpson

85. “I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gate

86. “I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” — Clarence Darrow

87. “Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” — Robert Orben

88. “If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.”

89. “If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.” — Albert Einstein

90. “The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.” — Groucho Marx


As you can see there are lots of funny quotes about education and success that can crack you up to be motivated even when you don’t feel like it. It’s advisable to bookmark this article so you can always come back to it whenever you are not in the mood to further your education or focus on the path to success.

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